I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
