i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
