when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
he just fucked me for my cheese..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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