I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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