So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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