Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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