Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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