You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
