So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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