Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
