i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
