Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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