i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You pole danced in your parka.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
