Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
