Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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