you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
