Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
