Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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