last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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