it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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