obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
