i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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