I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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