Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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