I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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