I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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