You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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