I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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