I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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