1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have demons in me.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Randomize
