I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
