Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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