Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
