what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
