She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
