So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
