i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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