Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
