you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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