And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
