i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
