there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize