and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
