dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
