I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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