Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
