There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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