Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Me too!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
