did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
