I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
