I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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