so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
