I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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