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it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
