btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
