Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
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That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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