Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
